Slut Boy

And you call you ex a whore, well look at your self you bastard coward of man, a month after you state you still love and miss me you're telling me you met this asian girl, your tutor and you've already talked about her coming back to the states with you, and you say you do want to marry her. You yourself, you're a manwhore, a liar, an worst of all a boy, you aren't a man at all, a man would know right from wrong, you run away from your problems and push people away when they try to help you. You're stubborn, stupid and I would have to say losing me, letting me go was one of the biggest mistakes of your life, and I hope you regret it.

Happy

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(edited to suit my emotions)

I know you've grown to hate me
Even more than you have
Grown to hate yourself
But has it really made a difference?
Sharing all that hate
With someone else?

Please tell me
Are you really happy?
Do you think she's really worth the pain?
Tell me
Are you really happy?
Or did you simply throw our life away
Just to be unhappy?

Does she worship and adore you?
Does she make you feel so
Beautifully complete?
Is your life so much better now?
Or do the same
Old demons haunt just me?

Please tell me
Are you really happy?
Do you think she's really worth the pain?
Tell me
Are you really happy?

Or did you simply throw our life away
Just to be unhappy?

Is she everything you've dreamed of?
I'd imagine she is
So much more than me
You know I tried to make you happy
But I believe
You thrive on misery

Please tell me
Are you really happy?
Do you think she's really worth the pain?
Tell me
Are you really happy?
Or did you simply throw our life away
Just to be unhappy?



Written & Originally Performed By:
Stabbing Westward

I'm sorry I'm too heart broken to find the right words so heres a special song to sing to you what is on my mind, to maybe make you open your eyes, we had something special, did you just go and throw it away?
Are we even friends?
Do I still know who are you?
Sometimes you seem to avoid me, thinking I can't tell you're in pain from missing me.
I believe it would hurt less if you would come out and just say it, I feel you feeling it.
Or am I just crazy?
What am I to you?
I'm not just a picture, I move, I breathe, I see you, I listen to you, you can hear me, I talk to you and I can send you things, we interact.
Do you still care about me or is she really that amazing that you've already forgotten about me?
I know that distance makes it hard to remember what it was like being together, what I smelled like, but I tell you now, its something of coconuts or bubblebum peppermint...something unusual yeah....

I Want to point out we had some good times and we felt great together, there was something there the very first moment we looked at each other drinking girly wine coolers and looking at the tv agreeing we loved court tv, and you asked me where have I been all your life, I giggled and we sat to play some Halo, the three of us. Do you remember me laying in your lap, nibbling your the side ofneck, my warmth breath, I think it tickled just a little bit, making you smile, goofing around playing master and slave, do you remember me asking for you to hold me up, cause you're so tall and strong, it felt nice to be up high in your hands, do you remember my kisses, my little lips pressing against yours, soft, moist, you told me I was a good kisser, awe kissing your lips, yes we were good at that.
I enjoyed rubbing your back and your feet, making you relax, cooking you food even if i wasn't great at it, i still tried my best to please you, i would do whatever you asked, wash the dishes, scrub the floor I would do whatever my hanii wanted so he would be happy, and not many women out there will do that for you, do you remember we had fun shopping together buying panties =P , buying dresses and such because i when you met me I was such a dork, but i'm doing much better now!, Oh and do you remember looking at electronics! not many girls actually like to do that, mmm you can't forget seeing movies together, an pirating together, riding in the car listening to your music, watching you work on your car, coming home all dirty, I miss the smell of car oil, as weird as that sounds, and I miss that we could hang out with the guys, drinking with the guys, staying up real late together, working on artwork together, talking about crime and justice and just whatever the fuck came to our winds, we didn't have to hold anything back, laughing at the stupid people, playing with the cats together, with loki and nero, sleeping peacefully together with the sound of a waterfall from the clock i bought you for Christmas/your birthday... theres so many memories and there's many more things I had planned for us to do if we ever got the chance to be together again, we weren't given much time..... but maybe you can't remember, it's sooo easy to focus on the negative...especially when theres nothing around you to help you remember the good things. I quiver to even send this out to you, well, let you read it actually. I toss and turn in my bed, and I stare up at the ceiling thinking you really did lose that loving feeling but my gut stings and says you haven't and that you're just denying it because you're logical manly thinking tells you it's for the best, surival of the fittest that you rather hurt me before i hurt you, you were wounded before so it's how i justify it I guess, that you would hurt me because you're afraid of getting hurt like the way she hurt you, but I bite my tongue cause maybe it truly is me in denial of the whole situation, this drives me nuts and the struggle continues on and off in my disaster of a mind, it makes me a zombie during the day, people at work notice the glazed stare trying to solve a broken heart that still hears someone calling to it in the distance. Maybe I'm better off letting these questions haunt me, but elders tell me it's better to find out than to go on through your entire life looking back at the past wondering what if I had just asked, would it have made a difference? Maybe asking these things is stupidity, but in my heart I believe their bravery, what person often has the guts to confront someone who has many times rejected them in several ways? not a lot of people. I am a strong woman and I will not let anyone say otherwise. You of all people can tear me down, but that's only because I let you in, I let you know me from the inside out, so you know how I'm built.



"I Remember"

Do you ever wonder where
We would be if we'd have tried
A little harder?
It seems like yesterday
That we were making plans
For the future
But it's been so long
Since I have known the truth
These dreams we've left abandoned
And I'm haunted by your face
And the memory of your kisses
Sweet kisses
Do you remember?
I still remember so much
I remember never feeling so alive
Do you remember?
I still can't forget your touch
We swore that we would never end
We knew our love transcend space and time
Do you remember?
I still remember so much
I remember never feeling so alive
Do you remember?
I still can't forget your touch
We swore that we would never end
These memories slip away
The ghost of what we were
Is fading
But there is no more pain
Which is funny 'cause that night
I was dying
Now I don't even recognize
The girl I swore that someday
I would marry
But I can't forget her face
And I can't forget her kisses
Sweet kisses
Do you remember?
I still remember so much
Or how we swore that we would never be alone
Do you remember?
I still remember so much
I remember never feeling so alive
Do you remember?
'Cause I still remember so much
We swore that we would never end
We knew our love transcend space and time
Do you remember?
God I remember so much
Another by Stabbing Westward